How Paramacharya is inspiring me - Part 5
or how I am moving to a vedic lifestyle
Part 5

There is a saying in Samskritam :
The bride wants the groom to be handsome.
The bride's mother wants the groom to be rich.
The bride's father wants the groom to be educated.
Relatives want a groom from a good family.
Others are interested in good food
during the marriage !

At least in the Tamil Brahmana community,
this generalisation is close to reality.

So, here I was in the marriage market.
I suppose, I passed the test on the education front.
Maybe not rich enough to pass the test !
Or barely a pass according to some on the
rich criteria.

As far as being handsome was concerned,
(in most prospective bride's point of view)
a total failure !

What was the issue ? Shikha.
(See this image for a more common form of a Shikha.)

Ever since I moved back to India,
I started having a Shikha. Something every
Hindu male should have.

But then these are "modern" times.
Shikha has been out of fashion for sometime now.
Take it off ! This is an impediment to you
getting married. So argued my well wishers.

For me, Shikha was a symbol.
A symbol of the lifestyle I am leading.
A symbol of the values I stand for.

If someone cannot respect the Shikha,
the probability of shared values between
us is low.

All said and done, the lifestyle I am
trying to lead is not a popular one.
So it was expected that only a few
would explore a life partnership
with me.

So we went through the process of
putting up matrimonial ads in newspapers.
Registering in matrimonial clearing houses.
There were a handful of responses.

I got to "date" a few fathers of
prospective brides ! One father was
so enthusiastic that he set up a
meeting between his daughter and me.

The daughter argues for not having a
Shikha. Oops! With such a basic difference
of opinion, we should never have met.

Would attribute that to the father,
enthusiastic but insensitive to the
daughter's aspirations.

Another prospective father-in-law
and I dated three times ! He wanted
to meet at least a few more times.

It would have been ok with me, if I
was thinking of getting married to him.
But same-sex marriage is not for me !

Among all these I had the faith that
I would find my wife. My inner voice
just kept telling
"Its just a matter of time".

Through Shanti, a relative of mine,
my future wife's and my horoscopes
were exchanged. And then nothing
significant happens for one year.

I suppose, these things have their
own time to happen.

After one year my future father-in-law
calls up. That triggers a series of
events. And Gayathri and I are married
in two months time in April 2005.

(... to be continued)

Thanks,
hari.
parampara.in
for Indian Heritage

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